Author: Fr. Antonios Kaldas

I am a Coptic Orthodox priest who has served at Archangel Michael and St Bishoy Coptic Orthodox Church, Mount Druitt, Sydney, Australia, since 1991. I also serve with two special purpose groups: Aletheia Apologetics, which addresses difficult questions; and Solace of the Lord, which provides benevolent support. I lecture in Philosophy and Apologetics at St Cyril's Coptic Orthodox Theological College in Sydney. I am an active researcher in Philosophy of Mind at Macquarie University, with a particular interest in Consciousness Studies. I am married with two beautiful grown up children, and many pets, not all of whom have grown up emotionally, yet.
Posted on

Longing For Literacy

It has become something of a cliché. Serving at St Mark’s College has reinforced my impression that the average Coptic family leans very heavily indeed towards the sciences, educationally speaking. You know what I mean: Maths and Science are the real subjects, and other, humanities type subjects are Mickey Mouse material. The same seems to go for choosing a career. Many Coptic parents will do all they can to convince their children to follow a career in one of the “big four”: Medicine, Pharmacy, Dentistry or Engineering. All very much Science based. It seems that in the world of the Diasporic Copt, Science reigns supreme.

Well, I am going to question that perception.

You see, another thing I have noticed over the years is that so many of our youth are actually extremely literate, if not downright eloquent.

When you think about it, is that really so surprising, given that we are a Church headed by a Pope whose primary talents were literary ones? HH Pope Shenouda III was an historian, educator and journalist before entering the monastery. I don’t think anyone would ever think that he chose a career in the Humanities because he did not have the intelligence to do something like Medicine! His Holiness surely possesses one of the brightest most incisive minds in the world today. Why don’t more young Copts follow in his footsteps? Where do will the next generation of effective and inspiring servants come from? Where will they learn the art of communication, which is essential to sharing God’s Word?

What is more, Arabic literacy is generally highly valued in the Coptic community. How often we hear the older generation lamenting the fact that young people these days don’t seem to read books like they do. And yet, when a popular novel comes out, the same people will jump on the youth for reading it, because of its questionable morality or example.

These critics, well intentioned as they are, are missing something important here: our youth are not that stupid. The Harry Potter series is a case in point. There was (and still is in some quarters) an outcry calling for these books to be banned from our children at all costs. The general impression given is that once one of these evil tomes falls into the hands of a youth, the youth will immediately don their witch’s hat and cape and take off for the Headquarters of Wicca to go over to the dark side. Personally, I confess that my response when asked whether one should read Harry Potter has always been, “Are you aware that in reality witchcraft is a rejection of basic Christian principles and can never be compatible with Christianity? If you know this, and are able to tell the difference between fiction and reality, then by all means read it.” To date, I have not encountered one single case of conversion to the occult caused by reading Harry Potter. But I have seen many young people strengthen their reading habit because they found a story that engaged them. Some have even managed to read a strong Christian message into the Harry Potter saga!

http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/undergod/2009/07/christians_love_harry_hogwarts_and_all.html

Here are some common myths that are demonstrably false:

MYTH #1
You can’t get a good tertiary entrance mark doing soft humanities subjects.

Actually, just have a look at the subjects that were studied by the top Year 12 students in the state each year. You get the best results by doing subjects in which you are interested, and at which you are naturally gifted. You also have a much more pleasant life and a much more positive attitude choosing such subjects rather than forcing yourself to do a subject that isn’t for you just because it has a reputation for scoring big. Remember that wise moral: “What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world but lose his soul?”

MYTH #2
Coptic children come from a non-English speaking background, so they can never be good at English or English based subjects.

Wrong! Research has shown that children who grow up learning more than one language are actually better at their main language than those who only learn a single language. That means that growing up in a home where Arabic is spoken actually results in the child becoming more adept at English.

http://www.multilingualchildren.org/getting_started/pro_con.html

My experiences at a Coptic College have borne this out. Our kids are great at English and the humanities, and proportionally more students at a Coptic School do tough humanities subjects like 4 unit English than in most other schools, public or private. And they score really well. Yet they are not as appreciated as those who do 4 unit Maths. They are also very good at speaking (surprise, surprise) and given attractive material, they generally love to read. If anything, we as a Church have largely failed to provide the young with attractive faith-based reading material. Where are the books for teenagers? Perhaps it will be this new generation of highly literate young Copts who will write these books?

In my own Year 12 graduating class (some time in the last century) there were 12 students I knew at my school who scored a mark that would get them in to Medicine. Yet I was the only one of them who actually chose to take that path. Some chose a scientific path, but others chose business or humanities, and I am sure that they are enjoying very successful and fulfilling careers today, doing all sorts of interesting things that doctors generally miss out on!

Another area to question is whether parents push for the “Big Four” because they think that they are licenses to print money. Get into one of those careers and it will make you rich. I have to question whether this is valid or suitable motive for a genuine Christian. Now please don’t misunderstand, I have nothing against a person profiting from their hard work and efforts to educate themselves, but should wealth be a high priority for the sincere Christian? Shouldn’t it come after other priorities, such as helping others, being content in one’s life (including career), curiosity and leading a balanced life? On the other hand, wealth brings with it all sorts of spiritual dangers. St James (James 1:11; 5:1), St Paul (1 Timothy 6:9), and Jesus Himself (Matthew 19:23; Luke 6:24) certainly did not think it an advantage to be wealthy, so what does that say to a parent who is motivated by wealth in the educational direction they give to their children?

Fr Ant

Posted on

Hold On Tight…

Life can be a bit of a roller coaster at times…

A recent day was very much like that. One minute I was blessed to share in one of the happiest moments in a person’s life. The joy of the wedding was palpable; in the huge smiles of the family and friends, the even wider smiles of the couple themselves, and the exuberant ululations (zaghareet) that kept firing out of the nave of the Church from all quarters! The lovely couple were listening to every word of the marriage prayers, drinking the spirit of the rite and living the jubilation of this day of their unification in the spirit. The crowns and capes with which they were ornamented made them look truly royal, as befits the children of the King of Kings. With pure and simple hearts they gazed longingly at each other every now and then. No wonder the Bible likens Holy Communion to a marriage feast!

A short while later I was with another family in the Intensive Care Unit of a hospital, struggling to help them cope with the imminent death of their mother. She was slipping away right before them, her physical body in tatters and her mind no longer present in the forgetfulness of unconsciousness. She was hardly recognisable as the ravages of disease, and of the valiant attempts to control that disease, showed just how fragile this human tent really is.

It is hard to accept death.

For the bereaved, it leaves behind a sort of numb blankness, an emptiness without reason, a darkness of the soul. Whether it is expected or not, it is never easy for us to accept, for we are too used to getting what we want. Yet here is something that is beyond our control.

And still, for the Christian, there is something that alleviates that agony. The loss is harsh, but the knowledge of the blessing that the departed is about to receive is a great comfort. In departing this mortal earth, in casting off this cage of flesh and bone, the spirit is freed to soar with angels to heights of glory and unimagined joy. The barriers between the creation and the Creator are finally lifted, and the spirit enters the undiluted Light for which she has longed all her existence. How can anyone not rejoice for the departed one they love?

Joy, and sadness. Sadness and joy. I sometimes wonder how we manage not to throw up on this rather extreme rollercoaster. Just don’t eat too much fairy floss…

Fr Ant

Posted on

Marriage and Divorce Continued…

I have received some very thoughtful comments both privately and publicly posted in response to the two recent blogs on Marriage and Divorce (20 June and 8 July). I am not sure how representative they are of general opinion among our community. The gist of their thoughts is that it is probably better for children whose parents are having major problems together that the parents separate rather than remaining in a house full of acrimony.

I have certainly known rare situations where there is little doubt that the child or one spouse was in grave danger, whether from physical, sexual or emotional abuse. No one would say that in these extreme cases separation is not justified, if not compulsory.

But whether formal divorce is acceptable in these cases is a little more complicated. The New Testament imperative is fairly straightforward:

Matthew 5:31 ” Furthermore it has been said, `Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce .’ 32 “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. 33 ”

Mark 10:2 The Pharisees came and asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce [his] wife?” testing Him. 3 And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses permitted [a] [man] to write a certificate of divorce , and to dismiss [her].” 5 And Jesus answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6 “But from the beginning of the creation, God `made them male and female.’ 7 `For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8 `and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” 10 In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same [matter]. 11 So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 “And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

We are a Biblical Church, which means we must base all that we do on the teachings of the Bible. If Christ seems to have been so emphatic on the topic of the sanctity of marriage and the wrongness of divorce, we have little wiggle room. Turning to the Old Testament, there are numerous references to fairly specific situations, but nothing that simply says, of your average married couple, what the rules for divorce are. Of course, from numerous other verses it is possible to deduce the Old Testament Law on this topic:

Malachi 2:14 Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. 15 But did He not make [them] one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. 16 “For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce , For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”

Certainly, human marriage is often used as an icon or image of the relationship between God and humanity. God would never ‘divorce’ us, but it is we who might leave Him, our Divine Husband. The Book of Amos is centred around the theme of unfaithful people of God who commit spiritual adultery by leaving their lawful spiritual Groom to worship the idols of the neighbours. Often God uses this imagery to describe how His beloved people have betrayed Him:

Isaiah 50:1 Thus says the Lord: “Where [is] the certificate of your mother’s divorce , Whom I have put away? Or which of My creditors [is] [it] to whom I have sold you? For your iniquities you have sold yourselves, And for your transgressions your mother has been put away.

Jeremiah 3:8 “Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce ; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also. 9 “So it came to pass, through her casual harlotry, that she defiled the land and committed adultery with stones and trees. 10 “And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah has not turned to Me with her whole heart, but in pretense,” says the Lord.

From these examples we can draw the conclusion that divorce in the Old Testament was seen as a betrayal, the guilty adulterous party reneging on the commitment made to love and care for the spouse until death. The permanence of this commitment to another human being is ‘practice’ for our eternal comitment to the Heavenly Bridegroom, Christ:

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord [does] the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife [see] that she respects [her] husband.

St Paul also gives us some of the most detailed instructions to be found in the Bible on this matter:

1 Corinthians 7:10 Now to the married I command, [yet] not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from [her] husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to [her] husband. And a husband is not to divorce [his] wife. 12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save [your] husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save [your] wife?

So there are some pretty compelling spiritual imperatives against divorce. The Church tries to balance these imperatives with the very real and practical needs of couples in trouble. The first step is always to seek reconciliation and resolution of the problems so that the commitment is not broken. No one could disagree that the best solution would be the resolution of the problems, and this can be achieved with varying degrees of success in many cases. But what about those cases where it can not? What is the Church to say to them? It is not an easy question to answer.

If the Church accepted ‘no fault’ divorces, would that not cheapen the meaning and value of marriage? Would it not be another step away from the concepts of commitment and loyalty, even in dire circumstances? And if this is what we learn to do in our relationships with each other, are we setting ourselves up to do the same with God? And yet, all this must be balanced against the daily agony of being in a seriously bitter relationship, and feeling as though one is trapped in a prison of misery. These are not easy questions to answer, and I do not have simple answers for many of them.

But I do see a guide in the research that I mentioned in the other posts. If you are looking at the welfare of the children, it seems fairly certain that by and large, it is generally better psychologically for children to remain with two parents than with divorced parents in all but the most extreme cases. I also see the logic behind it. Losing a parent to illness or disease is a very different situation to knowing that your missing parent is still alive but has chosen to leave the house.

A wise Father pointed out once that all serious marriage problems have at their core a lack of love, humility and repentance. Experience has made me come to appreciate the truth of this principle more and more. It follows from this that even serious marriage problems can be resolved through the couple returning to God in humility and repentance. I have seen this approach work miracles in marriages, but alas, all too rarely are people willing to let go of their perceived wounds and injustices long enough to truly repent of their own part in the mess. Perhaps the growing rate of divorce in our community is a sign of a deeper spiritual disease? And perhaps the solution to the divorce problem lies in treating that deeper problem?

I would be really interested in hearing the thoughts of anyone whose parents did in fact divorce when they were young. What effect did it have on your life? Do you think they did the right thing? Please post a comment, anonymously if you like, and let us know what your experience was like, and whether you feel that life would have been better or worse had your parents stayed together and toughed it out.

Fr Ant
frantonios@optusnet.com.au

Posted on

The Dilemma of Divorce

In a comment to a previous post, ‘sm’ raises the question of whether divorce is better for children than having to live in a home where the parents are constantly fighting. This is a very complex issue, and I am always wary of anyone who claims to have a simple answer (even if it’s Dr Phil, sm). You must factor in the needs of the parents, their ability and willingness to forget their own troubles and focus on giving their children their needs, their tolerance level for unhappiness and so on. Yes, if a parent is so desperately unhappy that they are contemplating a murder suicide of the whole family, there is definitely a strong case for separation! The same goes for a very abusive parent (either to the children or the spouse) who is putting his/her family members’ lives, physical health or emotional health at serious risk. But these are rare and extreme cases. What about the ‘average’ unhappy couple?

The common wisdom in recent decades has been that it is better for a child to grow up with one parent in a peaceful home than with two parents in a home full of conflict. You can see the logic in that. It seems to make the best of a bad situation for all parties involved. Except for one thing: it is not true.

Objective studies, properly designed and carefully carried out among large numbers of participants are showing over and over that divorce is worse for children than non-divorce, regardless of the problems between the parents. Here’s an example:

“Based on the findings of this study, therefore, except in the minority of high-conflict marriages it is better for the children if their parents stay together and work out their problems than if they divorce.” (http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/divorce.html)

For a child, the family unit is by far and away THE most important factor in their sense of security. It is the fixed point in the world of a child that gives them the steadiness to be able to deal with life. A sense of security is a critical ingredient in the healthy growth and development of a child’s emotions, personality and character. Divorce shatters that security. If the two people who have loved you and protected you and solved all your problems cannot solve their own problems, your childlike world is shattered. If one of those pillars of your young world is removed from your home, how can that not leave a huge and gaping hole in your life?

Interestingly, the children of divorce have a higher rate of divorce themselves in later life. It would seem that the example set by the parents plays the crucial role here. There is no marriage without problems, but the child learns from the parents how to deal with problems. If the parents gave up and divorced, the child will feel it is OK to do so in turn. But if a child sees the parents doggedly working to solve the problems and save the marriage, then they too in turn will feel the responsibility to do the same.

One widely reported major study followed families where the parents were experiencing major problems with the relationship over a period of time. After five years, the ones who stuck to their marriage were on average happier than those who divorced. In fact, the majority of those who stayed together were found to have made significant progress in resolving their issues, or at least to be significantly happier with their relationship. The message is clear: if you stick it out, things get better.

An article in the Washington Post demolishes the myth of “Happy Divorce”, something that has been a staple of the movie and TV industry for some years now.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/11/04/AR2005110402304.html

It would seem that there is no such thing as a happy divorce for the children. As the Washington Post article points out, even a divorce with minimal anger and tension is severely damaging for the children. At least, when the parents have been constantly fighting, the children can sort of understand why they might be leaving each other. But when the divorce comes almost out of the blue, the children lose their sense of security. Things seemed to be going so well – how could I know so little about my parents? What other disasters might be lurking unguessed, just around the corner?

The only people who think divorce is a better option tend to be the adults, who see it as being good for themselves, and then find all sorts of reasons as to why it must be better for the children. An example of this may be found at:

http://www.childcustody.org/divorceissues/_disc80/0000019f.htm

But sadly, reality will not be so easily pushed aside. The evidence continues to mount that divorce, in general, is worse for children than staying in a home with an unhappy marriage.

Kids need both their parents.

When a parent is lost to illness or accident, we consider it a tragic event, and feel great sympathy for the poor parent who is left alone to take care of the children. But the parents have no choice in the matter, and must accept the situation and make the most of it. When parents choose by their own free will to create that situation for their children, isn’t it that much more tragic for being avoidable?

Fr Ant

Posted on

A Different Praise

I was a newly ordained priest and we travelled to Alexandria to spend some time learning about service from a very well established Coptic community. We were privileged to be the guests of Fr Tadros Yacoub Malaty and his wife, Tasoni Mary. Fr Tadros is one of the foremost theologians and authors in the Coptic Church today. He has represented the Church on innumerable occasions at theological dialogues and discussions, written dozens of widely read books and is the oldest living representative of the Alexandrian branch of pastoral service that was developed by the late Fr Bishoy Kamel. So it was a very special honour to be allowed to pray a liturgy with Fr Tadros.
In his prayers at the altar, he lived up to all I had read about Fr Bishoy Kamel. His prayers were clearly heartfelt and he did not indulge in long melodies, but employed a simple and beautiful tempo that met the needs of those who wish to contemplate as well as those who have commitments for which they must not be late.
But his behaviour when he was not praying at the altar surprised and confused me. He sat or stood away in a nook of the sanctuary, writing. Writing! He was working on a book.
Now I had already learned that Fr Tadros does not waste an instant of his life. Even the photo we got to take with him shows him holding a phone to his ear! But surely, the liturgy is the time to put everything else aside and focus on God, isn’t it? Aren’t you supposed to drop your worldly cares and just lift your mind up to Heaven? Why was this pillar of the Church behaving so strangely, seemingly disregarding the liturgy that he was attending?

The Bible makes it clear that praising God is one of the chief forms of prayer. The phrase, “Praise the Lord…” is found 51 times in the NKJV of the Bible. “Praise Him…” is found a further 18 times, and of course, there are many other forms of saying the same thing.
The traditional form of praising God is well known. To sing hymns to Him, ideally with the full concentration of the mind and the full commitment of the heart. To lose oneself in the beauty of God is the ideal form of praise.
But when we delve into it, when we come to the core meaning of praise, we may find that there are other activities that are also, at their heart, a form of praising God. For example, a curious mind may praise God by exploring the world He has created if it is always conscious of the fact that there is a Creator behind this incredible creation. The scientist exploring the workings of subatomic particles or of the human body experiences this. The astronomer gazing out into the dark depths of space through his telescope, may feel that he is looking into the mind of God. The avid reader, enjoying a well-crafted novel and all of the issues and ideas it touches upon, seeking to differentiate right from wrong, justice from injustice, uncovering truths about the human condition: in all of these, the person is exploring the mind of God who created these things. If one approaches them with the right attitude, these activities become, in themselves, a prayer of praise.
When you enjoy the process of learning and discovery itself, you are praising God. You rejoice in the Creator whose wisdom created an instrument like the human mind that is capable of this amazing act of ‘understanding’! You are thankful that God has granted you this gift and granted you the time to enjoy it. You lose yourself in the pleasure of learning. It is another example of one of the highest goals of prayer: the destruction of the ego; the forgetting of the self. Instead, you ‘leave’ yourself behind as you are immersed completely in the God-made experience of exploring things outside of you. And throughout this experience, you find yourself constantly aware of the One who made all these engrossing things. If the creation is so intriguing, how much more so the Creator who made it?! In enjoying the glory of creation, you enjoy the glory of the Creator.
You recall what we said earlier about this form of prayer? “To lose oneself in the beauty of God is the ideal form of praise”. Thus, contemplation, exploration, learning – these in themselves, approached in a certain frame of mind – these can be a very profound form of the prayer of praise.

The mystery of Fr Tadros’ behaviour is solved. Many times I have felt that to allow the prayers of the liturgy to ignite the spark of a long and beautiful contemplation of God was a liturgy well spent. The contemplations may not have been exactly following the words of the liturgy, but that does not matter. The important thing is that I got to touch God. What better preparation can there be for having Holy Communion ?
I suspect that this is what was happening with Fr Tadros. He used the prayers of the liturgy to inspire him, and he was furiously writing down the contemplations that delved into the mystery of some aspect of God or His creation. No doubt, these hastily scribbled words eventually became a part of one of his books for many others to enjoy and in turn be inspired. But he was not disregarding the liturgy, he was not ignoring God. In fact, if we delve into the core of what he was doing, he was engrossed in a prayer of praise.

WARNING:
This does not mean that you should take a novel to read in the liturgy, or sit in the sanctuary and finish your assignments! There is more than enough in the liturgy itself to keep one utterly engrossed for the whole of one’s life. Fr Tadros’ case is a very special one, and not meant to be widely imitated!

Posted on

How Not To See.

The ability of the human being to see reality in a biased way never ceases to amaze me.

An extreme modern example of this is the outspoken evangelist of atheism, Professor Richard Dawkins. In his recent book, “The God Delusion”, he not only attributes all forms of religion to mental illness, but he also describes that tender special process of parents passing on their cherished faith to their children as ‘child abuse’. Not content with that, he goes so far as to criticise the God of Christianity for exhibiting ‘sadomasochism’ in the Crucifixion of Christ, thus reducing the most precious and intimate act of love in the history of world to the level of an unnatural human fetish.

The easy reaction to such words would be anger and indignation. If he doesn’t believe, at least he should respect the beliefs of others! That may be the easy response, but I don’t think it is the right one. After all, we too (Christians I mean) have our own history of seeing things in quite a biased way. We are human too.

The Dawkins example I gave above illustrates bias combined with belligerence, but there are also nice ways of being biased. One example of this ‘nice’ bias that springs to mind is that of the late Fr Bishoy Kamel, the Coptic priest who served in Alexandria and Los Angeles in the 1960’s and 70’s. If my reading of the limited English translations of his many writings is accurate, Fr Bishoy was every bit as biased as Dawkins, but in quite a different way. Rather than reading evil into the good of others, he was most adept at reading good into the evil of others.

Among his favourite books of the Bible was the Song of Solomon, a relatively explicit love poem that many modern preachers keep away from, so stark is its language of love. But Fr Bishoy saw in the love between a man and a woman a holy icon of the love between Christ and the human soul. Of course, this was not an original discovery by Fr Bishoy. St Paul wrote of this living metaphor two thousand years ago in his letter to the Ephesians. But what makes Fr Bishoy’s approach stand out is that he lived it.

To read this celibate’s description of how he cries out to Jesus as he goes to sleep in his bed, to come and embrace him, to place His gentle hand behind his head and hold him close; only a man who has risen above the earthliness of physical intimacy could write so freely and honestly of spiritual intimacy. In this married celibate’s words I find a better description of the purity of celibacy than one can find from most monks and nuns! He did not fear intimacy and flee from it, he sanctified it! For Fr Bishoy, the spirit purifies the body completely; good triumphs over evil – it is as simple as that, and there is just no question about it. That’s pretty opinionated!

And yet, I believe that this is indeed the true spirit of Christianity, indeed, of Christ Himself. Was it not He who sought out the outcasts of society and broke so many taboos in the name of divine love? Was it not His positive attitude towards sinners, seeing the potential good in them rather than their evil past, that saved so many from destruction? Which makes me wonder: what would happen if an opinionated and biased atheist like Professor Dawkins were to one day meet Jesus? The following is of course a fiction, and I hesitate to guess what Jesus would say (I have no special insight) or what Dawkins would say, but it is interesting to contemplate…

* * * * *

Professor Richard Dawkins was turning in for the night. It had been a long and hard day. Three media engagements, a book signing and then that debate at the university. But it has been a satisfying day. His opponent in the debate had been a little underprepared which had allowed him to take him apart, much to the pleasure of a largely sympathetic audience of noisy university students. Ahh… this had been a good day.
Suddenly, the bedroom filled with light. Wondering if a car had pulled up and shone its high beam at his window, he walked over to draw the curtains and perhaps see who this was who so impertinently and thoughtlessly had disturbed his repose. Could someone be visiting him at this time of night? But there was no car outside; in fact it was quite dark. A gentle rustle behind him made him twirl around suddenly and shout in fright, “Who the devil are you? And how in blazes did you get into my house?”

The shining man with the beard smiled at the professor and the glow that seemed to emanate from His face slowly faded away until He was left standing on the carpet like any other man, except perhaps for His long flowing robes and the wounds in His hands and feet.
“No, actually, I am not the devil. Quite the opposite.” A small smile played on His lips. “Never mind how I come to be in your house. I have come to ask you a question. Why do you hate me?”
“Who are you? Where did you come from? I don’t know you, and if you don’t leave immediately I shall call the police!”
“I think you know who I am, Richard. Do you not recognise Me?”
“Oh tosh, man! Do you think you are Christ? Come now, which mental hospital have you escaped from?”
“Ah, so you do recognise Me. But My question remains unanswered: Why do you hate Me?”
“Firstly, I do not for one moment accept that you are Jesus Christ: let’s get that clear. But for the sake of argument, I will answer your question. I don’t hate you; I simply don’t believe in you.”
“Why is that Richard?”
“Where have you been living for the past thirty years? My arguments are all over the media and they fill the bookshops. Someone who knows where I live must surely have at least read some of my books.”
“Why do you not believe in me, Richard?”
“OK, I’ll humour you. One: because all religion simply evolved to meet natural needs for human survival. Two: because sacred texts are full of contradictions and inaccuracies. Three: because modern science has eliminated the need for a “God of the gaps” to explain things that we couldn’t understand. Is that enough for you?”
“What do you say to the millions of devout and highly intelligent and educated Christians who see things differently?”
“Huh, that’s easy. WAKE UP! Open your eyes! Stop being deluded! The evidence is there and it’s black and white, so stop fooling yourself and come into the twenty first century for God’s sake!” The little smile played upon the lips of the Bearded Man once more.
“You cannot imagine seeing in that same evidence any other interpretation than yours, then?”
“Oh, there may be many different interpretations of the evidence, but there’s only one CORRECT interpretation, and it just happens to be mine.”
“And what would it take to convince you otherwise? What would it take to convince you that God exists, that I am real?”
“Well, if God is really there, why doesn’t He just show Himself to everyone? Why doesn’t He just appear and say, ‘Here I am everyone. You can stop doubting Me now’.”
“Well, Richard, here I am. You can stop doubting Me now.”
The professor paused for a moment as though considering the proposal put to him by this strange man. He certainly had an honest face, something in it told him intuitively that whatever this man might be, he was not a liar. He must be a manic depressive who really believed he was Christ. And yet, he seemed so calm, so in control, so sane.
“Well if you want to make a claim like that, I’m afraid you’re going to have to back it up. Prove to me that you are the real Christ. Go on then.”
“Was the light that filled the room and my sudden appearance out of nowhere not convincing for you?”
“You probably have a torch hidden up that big sleeve of yours. Well, you can do anything with electronics these days. And I didn’t see you come in. You could have come in through the door.”
“Did you hear your door squeak as it always does?” How the blazes did he know that my bedroom door squeaks, thought the professor to himself. But of course: he just walked through it a few minutes ago.
“I was distracted by the light. A common conjuror’s trick: distract your audience’s attention with one thing so you can get away with the illusion. I can show you some articles on it if you like.”
“Then what would it take to convince you Richard?”
“You’d have to do something genuinely supernatural, here in the open where I can see it, where I can measure it and observe it scientifically.”
“Alright then, if that’s what you’d like. You see that cup of water over there? You filled it up yourself from the tap just a few moments ago, didn’t you?” The professor nodded. “Would you like to pick it up and taste it?” The professor did so. “It is tap water, is it not?” Another nod. “Then kindly taste it again for Me.” The professor held his nerve well. He needed to, for when he looked at the glass, its contents were no longer clear but a rich burgundy hue. He smelled it and gingerly tasted it. A rich red wine. He turned back to the Bearded Man.
“Oh very clever young man, very clever. Turning water into wine, hey? OK, you’ve read your gospels, and I’ll admit that was a very clever trick. How did you do it? Slip a tablet in when I wasn’t looking? Sorry, but that’s no proof. I’ve seen better illusionists than you.”
“But isn’t that what you asked for?”
“Sorry, but you’ll have to do better than that, my friend.” This he said in a tone that suggested anything but friendliness.
“Then what would you have Me do to convince you, Richard?”
“Look, if God exists and wants us to believe in Him, He can appear as a towering giant floating above London and blocking out the sunlight. He can rain thunderbolts on anyone who doesn’t accept him as an example to others. If He really wanted to, He could put the matter beyond all doubt. So why doesn’t He? I’ll tell you why, my friend. Because He doesn’t exist, that’s why. He’s just a figment of people’s imagination that was perpetuated by corrupt clergymen for their own personal benefit. And eventually, people came to believe the lie. That’s all there is to it.”
“And if I were to remove all doubt, would you love Me?”
“Oh, yes: prove yourself to me and I’ll believe in you. I am a scientist, you know. I do have an open mind.” Again, the little smile.
“But I did not ask if you would believe in Me. I asked if you would love Me. I love you, you know.”
“Oh, tosh! Not this ‘love’ thing again. Look, there is no such thing really as love. All there is just hormones and chemical messages in the brain. Love is nothing more than an electrochemical phenomenon.”
“Again, you have evaded My question. Again, I ask it. Would you love Me?”
“Oh, look: if God were to prove beyond all doubt that He really does exist, then, yes, I suppose I would do what He says. I’m not stupid, you know. But see, that’s why religion is such a fake. It’s all about guilt and making atonement and hoping to please this big Judge in the Sky so He doesn’t cast you into everlasting fires of damnation. No, sorry: God just can’t be real. I won’t accept that.”
“You don’t think you may have misunderstood what God is really all about?”
“No, I haven’t. It’s all there to read in black and white, you know. It’s all in the Bible, the fire and brimstone and the everlasting flames of hell.”
“Perhaps you are reading only what you want to read and ignoring the rest if it does not fit in to your preferred interpretation?”
“I told you before, man. I am a scientist. Scientists are objective. They gather evidence and draw theories out of that evidence. Then they test them and thus prove or discard them. Why don’t you listen?”
“So from what you say, it seems that I cannot win. If I show you My power, you will attribute it to illusion or epilepsy or aliens. If I prove Myself to you beyond doubt, you still will not love Me, but only seek to gain personal advantage from the situation. It would seem that whatever I do, you have already made up your mind. You have made your choice and nothing will change it.”
“Absolute rubbish! I have an open mind. Go on then, prove to me that you are really God, or Christ, or whichever deity you wish to masquerade as this week. Go on then, I’m all ears.” The Bearded Man gently shook His head and muttered, “There are none so blind as them that will not see.” Aloud, He said:
“I will leave you now Richard. I know there is good inside you still. But you have become so encrusted in the shell of your own confidence and pride that you have lost the very thing you first set out to achieve: Truth. I will visit you again, for I do not lose hope that one day you may be healed. But I will not visit you again like this. You have closed that door to Me and locked it. Goodbye.” And with that, He was gone. He did not leave by the door or jump through the window. He did not ascend through the ceiling; He was just … gone.
For a moment, the professor stood like a statue, gaping at the spot where the Bearded Man had stood just seconds ago. Then he shook his head and turned around to go and brush his teeth. “Damn magician of a mental patient! I really must speak to the Minister of Health about the lax security these days. One of these days, someone is going to get hurt!”

Fr Ant

Posted on

A License to Marry?

So many broken homes … so many broken lives.

I don’t know if my impression is valid or not, but it seems to me that over the last two decades, the proportion of marriages collapsing and failing has increased. Certainly, the Coptic population in Sydney has increased over that time period, so it would be normal to expect that the mere number of broken marriages would have increased. But it also feels like the percentage is increasing.

Marriage break ups can never be pleasant. They are so painful that I wonder how anyone can bear to go through the experience. Certainly, I don’t think anyone in their right mind would purposely choose for that to happen. When a marriage beaks up, everybody loses.

The couple themselves lose a relationship that they had hoped would sustain and nurture them for the rest of their lives. Often there are feelings of betrayal and of isolation. There is the whole issue of how to break the news to the extended family. There is the financial insecurity and the social stigma. And of course, there is the unavoidable uncomfortable feeling that one has failed in some way (although some people handle this feeling by laying all the blame on their partner and none on themselves).

The community loses, for if we are truly united, then that which hurts one member hurts us all. All sorts of awkward issues arise: do you invite them both to your birthday, or only one? And if only one, will the other be offended? Generally, a divorced couple are severely limited in their ability to serve. They feel unable, for example, to stand in front of children and teach Sunday School. All too often, the result is social isolation and estrangement from the Church, just at a time when they need the support of their friends the most.

But of course the ones who suffer most are the children. How agonisingly sad it is to see innocent, angelic little souls being gradually hardened and scarred by the horrible experience of watching the two people they trust the most fighting with each other. Children look up to their parents. Children learn from their parents; not from what they say, but from what they do. If parents live their lives with anger or malice constantly in their hearts, the children grow up never knowing what it is like to live in peace and security. For them, the world is a cold, hard, scary and lonely place. Is it any wonder that such children often seek the love and acceptance they crave outside the home, often with disastrous results?

Studies have shown that when a couple are having serious marriage problems, but they stick it out and stay together, their overall happiness is much higher in the long run than if they separate. Other research has shown time and time again that the breakup of divorce leaves a worse long-term emotional scar on children than if they remain in a united but troubled home. Of course, such research cannot take into account every single individual situation, but as an overall view, it is compelling. There is every reason for a married couple to honour the commitment they made before God in Church on their wedding day and to strive to submit to one another in humility and love.

If there is hard-headedness involved, then what is required of the Christian spouse is clear: soften that hard head! If not for your own or your spouse’s sake, then at least for the sake of your innocent children! And if not for their sake, then at least for the sake of the salvation of your own soul!

One wise Father I know always says, “You can never solve a marital problem without genuine repentance.” How true his words are! Without accepting that grace of God that empowers a person to boldly say: “I was wrong”, the couple will have a lot of trouble resolving their differences. Yet if each of them seeks their own personal inner sanctity, their own personal relationship with the loving and merciful Christ, the problems that divide them would melt away.

Perhaps it is wise to be very, very careful in choosing who you marry, for it is a commitment for life. As a Church, perhaps we need to offer more guidance and counselling to young people thinking of getting married, and to couples after they are married. The problem is that when things are going well, the couple do not feel the need for guidance, and when things deteriorate, the couple are in no state to listen to any guidance!

Perhaps we also need to start with people very young, helping them to develop ‘marriageable’ personalities in the first place. If a person learns from a young age to be patient, kind, forgiving, thoughtful … they will take those traits with them into the marriage relationship and very likely make it a success. Some marriages fail because one or both of the couple are simply not fit for marriage: they lack the skills or the personality necessary for a marriage to work.

Maybe we could bring in a marriage license, something like a driver’s license? You’d have to learn the skills and then pass a test before you were allowed to marry. But then you’d be set for a life of safe and comfortable marriage. And then, perhaps we need a parenthood license…

Fr Ant

Posted on

A Passion of Patience

What a precious thing is patience. And so beautiful.

A visitor from interstate recently remarked that drivers in Sydney are so impatient. Everyone is in such a hurry to get to where they’re going that they seem to care only for themselves and not for anyone else on the road. What a sad way to live one’s life.

Yet patience seems so hard to find these days. We all have so much to do and so little time in which to do it. We all want to see results, to get things done, to get somewhere… the clichés abound. And we have become so used to getting what we want right away that when we don’t, we feel as if one of our basic rights has been unfairly taken from us.

I doubt this is the way of life our Creator intended for us. “In your patience possess ye your souls” said our Lord. And as a general rule, whenever we disobey the Maker’s instructions, things go wrong. In the last of his science fiction trilogy, That Hideous Strength, CS Lewis quotes from his bottomless pit of archaic proverbs:

“Fool! All lies in a passion of patience – my Lord’s rule.”

Only he can make something as dull and difficult as being patient sound so exciting! And yet, perhaps he is right. Perhaps patience can indeed be an exciting adventure, a thrilling challenge, a life-consuming delight. I once met such patience…

It was late at night, around eleven o’clock, when I was preparing to go home after giving a talk at a youth meeting at another parish. A lady with gentle manners approached me and asked if I would mind doing her a favour, since she was unable to locate the local parish priests. Would I mind coming to pray for an invalid who was about to pass away.

You cannot refuse these requests, so I followed the lady, a doctor as it turned out, to the home of her patient not far from the Church. I entered a dimly lit house where the atmosphere was overwhelmingly one of silence and peace. We threaded our way through to a bedroom dominated by a large hospital bed. Only secondarily did notice the small, quiet figure of a woman standing on the other side of the bed.

“O thank you so much for coming Dr X,” she said. Introductions were quickly made and I was graced with a wide smile from a wide open heart. “I really appreciate your coming out at this late hour. My daughter won’t be with us too much longer, and I would feel so much better if someone could pray for her before she departs.” I mumbled a few words of feeble encouragement and we prayed for the patient lying unconscious in the bed. I anointed her with some Holy Oil, and then we just stood around the bed for a little while. The mother told us of how precious her daughter was to her, how she was her whole life. She wondered how she would survive without her.

“But I know that she was a precious gift from God to me. How can I complain when God wants to take her back? She belongs with Him, not me.” She must have seen the expression of sorrow on my face, for she turned to comfort me. “We mustn’t be sad,” she said with that smile again, although there was a glint of moisture in the corner of one eye. “My daughter was a real blessing. She made my life worthwhile. But she really doesn’t belong in this world. Forty three years is long enough, and I can’t complain. Every day with her has been a precious treasure for me. But the time has come to let her go.”

Once again I was in my common though uncomfortable role of feeling totally inept as a minister. The patient was healing the doctor, the suffering was comforting the comforter. Oh, well – I’m used to it by now.

Outside, the doctor described to me how this lady had given birth to her severely disabled daughter over forty years ago, and had patiently devoted her life to serving her. It had cost her her career, her marriage and her social life. Yet in all the years the doctor had known her, she had never heard one word of complaint issue from her lips. Even now, as she was losing the daughter around whom her whole life revolved, she bore it patiently, acceptingly, submitting herself to the will of God. And in her patience she found a profound peace.

Yes, patience can be beautiful.

Fr Ant

Posted on

A Common Confusion

Why do I pray?

Why do I fast?

Why do I go to church?

If I do not have a good reason for doing these things (as opposed to a bad reason, or no reason), sooner or later they will become empty, meaningless actions and eventually, my common sense will say to me, “What’s the point? Stop wasting your time!”

There are many bad reasons for doing good things, some of them obvious, some very subtle and difficult to detect. The obvious bad reasons for doing good things include pride, showing off, fear of punishment and dry habit without any love.

But one of the most subtle of tricks is confusion between reasons and busyness. It is not hard to get these two things mixed up. We can get so caught up and interested in the details of what we do that we actually forget why we are doing it – the details become the reason, and a bad reason at that.

An example: consider a deacon learning a complex ‘lahn’ (hymn) or a member of a choir learning hymns for an upcoming celebration. Immersed in the fine variations of the notes and tune, the challenge of getting it right becomes the goal, the reason for doing it. Performing the hymn becomes a goal in itself, even without the element of prayer or praising God. They have fallen into the trap of confusing the busyness of doing something with the reason for doing it!

It is not uncommon for us become engrossed in whether or not we have memorised the words of the prayer, or the beauty of a tune, or in the fine meaning of a Bible verse, only to find that the love has gone out of the exercise. It may be exciting, but spiritually, it is dead.

Now don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying we shouldn’t memorise or enjoy our spiritual activities. What I am saying is that this enjoyment should never be more than a tool I use for enjoying God Himself. The moment I lose sight of God and instead enjoy only the tools that are supposed to lead me to Him, I become terribly and sadly confused. Imagine if Michelangelo had stopped painting the Sistine Chapel because he couldn’t take his eyes off his paintbrush! Or if Beethoven had become so interested in the paint on his piano that he forgot to write any music!

God is beautiful. Unimaginably beautiful. And, He loves me. Enough to create this beautiful world for me, and enough to die on the Cross for me. That should be reason enough for anyone. In a way, it’s really quite hard to understand why anyone should get confused …

Fr Ant

Posted on

In His Hands…

Khristos Anesti!

Alithos Anesti!

Another Passion Week and Easter have came upon us and passed in peace.

What a beautiful week it was this year! I felt so blessed to be part of the spirit of love and faith that diffused through our Church. It was so uplifting to hear all those angelic voices lifted together in a harmony of unity in praise and worship of our awesome Lord. Good on you ladies! The antiphonal* singing of “Thok te tigom” and “Epouro ente tihirini“, with the gents on one side and the ladies on the other was so inspiring.

Ten years ago when we first started having English Passion Week services, we could hardly get a peep out of the youth. How wonderful it was this year to hear a whole Church lifting the roof and opening a window to heaven as they sang in voice “Ke iperto” with its moving long tune!

The rites and hymns of our Church are incredibly and deeply filled with meaning. Every year I learn new things about them, see new connections, gain new insights into the passion of our Lord, and indeed, into the very purpose and significance of His mission on the earth.

Passion Week is so special that one often does not want it to end. And it doesn’t have to, in a way. We should take with us the gems we find in Passion Week and keep them close throughout the rest of the year, that we might continually find comfort and inspiration every time we gaze upon them again. I know it’s now the 50 days of joy, but allow me to share with you one little Passion Week reflection:

Think of His hands.

Imagine yourself standing near as Jesus reaches out those gentle hands to lay them upon the forehead of a sick man. Seconds later, the man rises, completely healed of his illness.

Follow those hands as they punctuate and illustrate His words as he speaks to the multitudes on the mount.

Observe as those hands reach out to ruffle the leaves of the fig tree that bore no fruit, and are pulled back again, empty.

Look closely as those hands hold the bread, and break it into as He says “This is My body which is broken for you and for many” – yes, with His own hands, by His own will, He calmly and quietly surrenders His body to agony and death.

See those hands being roughly tied together with coarse ropes, by men who are not worthy of kissing His feet. Covered in dirt and blood and wounds, His hands are ound hidden behind His back while Pilate washes his own hands in a silver laver.

Cringe at those hands contorting in reaction to the furious unbearable pain of the whips being slashed across His back.

Feel the splinters and the weight of the cross upon those hands as they struggle to grip its shaft and keep it from falling off His shoulder … step after excruciating step along the dirt road … to death.

Shudder at every hammer blow that drives the thick iron nails through skin and bone and sinew … such violence … such gentle, healing hands.

Weep, letting your tears drop onto those still, pale hands, lifeless now as you anoint them with perfumes and carefully arrange them over His chest. Such senseless waste … such cruel injustice … such inconsolable sorrow …

And rejoice and exult now, to see those hands glowing with renewed life! The wounds remain as an eternal witness of His limitless love, but there is no pain in them now, no suffering, no corruption, no weakness, no defeat; for defeat has turned into victory, and sorrow has been drowned out forever by joy!

Hold those hands in your own. Touch them … feel them … kiss them … for these are the hands that of our Saviour, our Champion, our Redeemer.

Take your life and place it firmly in these hands. Fold His fingers over your life, enclose it in a cage of flesh and blood … and divinity.

“Lift up your hearts”“We have them with the Lord”

 

Fr Ant

* antiphon – a hymn where two groups take it in turns to sing alternate verses, responding to each other.